i cant believe it!! my whole post is ruined
stupid.. in brief.. im tired from simple plan concert..
i loved tog forever and a thing called love.. yups both NOT their songs haha..
hehe.. and i met yingmei.. tsktsk on a skl night haha
sleepyyy
damn stupid blogger

its been a week already.. i miss nenek..
and its supposedly the last night..
everything is going to be different
the past week.. pple, relatives have been coming in n out of my house.. the kitchen has been turned upside down.. but now.. everythings gone quiet.. tomorrow starts another working day and ill be left alone.. with darling novi.. the house becomes so quiet.. and empty.. and all i have are her memories..
her jewellery and ancient sewing machine i swear will forever be family heirloom..
she used to sing to us and say
tuku taka
tuku pintu
budak nakal
memang gitu..
and blow over what hurts..
it was like some magic spell that made us feel all better.. :)
and she was so cute.. esp in hospital.. all the nurses loved her..
but now theres no one to come home too.. the home becomes nothing more than just a house.. but ill always hold her close to my heart.. and know that she'll always be there.. esp at a happier place..

just finished chatting with pom.. its always pretty funny with him.. always being politically correct and he even ended off the convo with a conclusion.. haha.. mebbe he will make a good lawyer..

anyway happy day
who would have thought after an awful interview and an essay where i couldnt think cos i was stricken in fear of the lack of time, SMU has offered a double degree programme!! woohoO! seriously.. i havent heard of anyone who got rejected by SMU before.. odd

Tentang seseorang (AADC Dian Sastro)
'Kulari ke hutan kemudian menyanyiku
Kulari ke pantai kemudian teriakku
sepi, sepi dan sendiri aku benci
ingin bingar aku mau di pasar
bosan aku dengan penat
enyah saja kau pekat
seperti berjelaga jika kusendiri

Pecahkan saja gelasnya biar ramai
biar mengaduh sampai gaduh
ada malaikat meyulam jaring laba-laba belang di tembok keraton putih
kenapa kau tidak goyangkan saja loncengnya biar terdera
atau aku harus lari ke hutan
belok ke pantai?'


Peter Pan - Mungkin Nanti
Saatnya ku berkata mungkin yang terakhir kalinya
Sudahlah lepaskan semua kuyakin inilah waktunya
Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi
Dan mungkin bila nanti kita kan bertemu lagi
Satu pintaku jangan kau coba tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang kutinggal mati
Seperti hari kemarin saat semua disini
Dan bila hatimu termenung bangun dari mimpi2mu
Membuka hatimu yang dulu cerita saat bersamaku

Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi
Dan mungkin bila nanti kita kan bertemu lagi
Satu pintaku jangan kau coba tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang kutinggal mati
Seperti hari kemarin saat semua disini
Tak usah kau tanyakan lagi simpan untukmu sendiri
Semua sesal yang kau cari semua rasa yang kau beri

You rock.. thanks for making my day..

uve taken me for granted
and youve been an asshole
so shutup and leave me alone..

sometimes, it takes sth to jolt u back to life..
after 4 pretty mundane days of admin life.. and appalled how routine pples lives become.. i think the most important lesson i learnt from it all was to seize every opportunity that may arise.. otherwise.. ure merely wasting yr life away.. there are some things tt can be endured.. but when u use up 1/2 yr life enduring sth so routine u dont enjoy.. wouldnt u feel like ure time here was all for nothing?

theres always been tt drive in me when i was in pri skl.. but it pretty much died off after tt.. i think ive got to find it again.. cos i kinda regret those 3 mths unemployed.. stuck at home.. all chicken poxy.. sure id rather be slacking than unhappy working but i guess ive got to make the effort to go do what i want! like learn spanish and chinese.. :)

AND.. i am gonna write lots of complain letters.. hehe.. im gonna go find out the differing prices in halal & non halal meat.. so if ure parents have an eatery.. pls do be kind and inform me of how much their suppliers are selling meat for? because i would like to present a case to STUPID eateries tt currently dont have the halal cert to go halal.. by this i mean those who have no pork in the menu and dont serve wine.. ie. secret recipe & subway.. & i think mos burger? i think secret recipe is the most nonsense of them all because it is a franchise from msia which is obviously halal.. and may i argue that fast food restaurants tt are halal are known to be more popular and well recognised than those not..

these couple of days.. ive been damn angsty.. and filled with rage.. cos i find out so many things soo wrong in our world.. so id agree with my dad that those elite scholars/policy makers are MORONS.. the singpass didnt work.. the need to computerise all applications was a disaster.. companies are damn fucking racist.. the need for indo maids to pass a might i add impractical english test is absurd.. minimum wage is damn freaking low! hrmph.. i was helping the HR dept shortlist candidates for jobs.. and she told me to only pick out chinese.. heez.. i glared at her.. how dare she say tt in front of me.. she saw my glare and attempted an excuse tt it was a matter of ratio.. i duly noted that there was a rather unusually high % of malays n indians working there but STILLL... i am very certain that majority of companies want or in their opinion need (rolls eyes) chinese employees.. so that leaves the other companies who apparently NEED (yaright) a correct racial ratio.. if u do the maths.. there is OBVIOUSLY a significant smaller number of jobs available for minorities.. which is probably why when u find at least one malay/indian worker.. u tend to find ALOT of them in the company in teh company.. u know what.. u want racist? ill build my own company and hire only malays.. ive got the perfect argument tt im trying to even out the ratio in generaL! man it makes me boil! u know what.. if i were a manager.. id disallow pple speaking in their mother tongue regarding work matters.. ESPECIALLY if there is a person of another race in the dept.. AND.. i will learn chinese and bloody hell slam them in their own lang if they dare talk behind my back! heh.. no one would wanna work for me.. ;)


Title: (There's Gotta Be) More To Life
I've got it all, but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
And why can't I let it go

[Chorus]
There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well there's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more
Than wanting more
I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I'm half way out the door
Onto the next thing, I'm searching for something that's missing

i'm wanting more
I'm always waiting on something other than this
Why am I feelin' like there's something I missed.....

Within 2 days of admin-ing.. ive learnt lots of things.. learnt what i will not tolerate and what i have to work hard towards..
i have to be successful enough to
1) have my own office.. a cubicle will NOT be enough for me
2) preferable one in town or work from home or a really damn good company where i can drive my preety car to even if its ulu..
3) i will not be desk bound!!
4) i will not work in HR.. its insane.. i cannot believe they know 500+ staff by heart and where they go.. :S
5) even better.. get a job overseas where the pace of life is much slower and no ones rushing towards deadlines.. fine realistically.. minmal frenzy of deadlines..
6) retire ASAP
7) work smart so i wont be doing double work like what i did today.. the woman was so sensitive to everyones sensitivity that she checked the numbers 4 times.. wasted damn alot of time.. and pple shud stop bugging her read their emails and lessen her burden..
marketing DID look the funnest tho i saw mails coming in for them in the form of posters.. they were covered by newspapers tho so cudnt see the concept..
8) i DONT want to work in a female dominated company.. there HAS to be a balance.. like where the hell am i supposed to find my potential husband if i spend all the time in the office?
9) i dont want to spend all the time in the office.. haha tying in with pt 8 i guess.. how do pple tahan man??? ill be damn burnout! id be too lazy to go out after tt.. where does my social life go!?
10) all jobs shud start at 9am earliest.. its unfair to deprive pple of sunlight.. actually this also applies for skls..

hmm so wonder what job will suit me haha..

visited sya at buddies creamery today.. i think id end up talking to my customers too if i were her.. haha.. OR trying out the teh tariks.. haha but as i walked back to the mrt i had a very frightening experience.. ok to some pple this may sound dramatic.. but STILL.. i didnt like it.. the whole world was walking towards the mrt too.. everyone was on their way home.. i tried imagining myself at a desk bound job 9-5 like the rest of them and shuddered cos all i felt was how small and insignificant i was.. its like an ants mound where im just this tiny ant working 8 hrs straight to run the sg economy.. n this tiny little pawn being moved in and out of the office.. crammed into trains or buses with other little ants.. or pawns.. whichever.. ironically i just got some admin job at jurong heh.. 1 week.. i will bear with it ONE WEEK... and as i came out of the job agency i realise how stinking claustrophobic an office is!! it doesnt matter where the crap u are.. be it jurong or city hall.. the office feels too small for me.. my parents tried to placate me by saying some offices have nice views.. well mine bloody hell better have!! tt is if i want a desk job to begin with.. :S

sometimes i think how wonderful it wud be if i were really tt passionate over medicine and my records were pretty enough for it.. since my grandma got sick.. i kinda got a new look on how doctors handle situations and deal with their patients and i must say.. it doesnt seem like such a daunting task.. plus i would be honoured and completely ecstatic to be able to help the malay community.. i saw how important it was for doctors to understand other languages to be able to communicate well and even though you prob wont say that much it tends to give the patient and family a much better feel as to how the doctors and hospital are treating.. as in put them to ease.. should i just apply? it would certainly be something worth doing..

either that or the hospitality or F&B industry was the other choice for non desk bound jobs.. and so i can go SMU.. :) ho hums

delta goodrem is good stuff!

Lost without you – Delta Goodrem
I know I can be a little stubborn sometimes
And I say a little righteous and too proud
I just wanna find a way to compromise
Cos I believe tt we cud work things out
I thought I had all the answers
Never giving in
But baby since u’ve gone I admit that I was wrong

All I know is I’m lost w/o u
Im not gonna lie
How am I gonna be strong w/o you
I need you by my side
If we ever said we’d never be together and we ended with goodbye
dunno what I do
I’m lost w/o you

I keep trying to find my way
But all I know is
I’m lost w/o you
I keep trying to face the day
Lost w/o you

How am I ever gonna get rid of these blues
Baby I’m so lonely all the time
Everywhere I go I get so confused
And you’re the only thing that’s on my mind
Oh my bed so cold at night
I miss you more each day
Only you can make it right
No I’m not too proud to say

If I could only hold you now
And make the pain just go away
Can’t stop the tears from rolling down my face

i need a job.. i need wakbah to call me or james or one of the stupid tuition agencies or mendaki! heh..

as much as im contented with my lifee.. somethings still missing.. it just feels empty sometimes.. i wished i was escaping to spain and looking at the fine art.. fine football and very fine guys.. ;) haiz
how come i dont celebrate my results? i need a lil bit more money to indulge in retail therapy..

wooh.. its all over!

i did so much better than expected! but wth when i start comparing to the million other pple with perfect scores jealousy does just get the better of me.. but who cares.. all tt matters is tt i surpassed my own expectations and come on.. who's to say 3 As is bad?
incredibly econs was an A.. is tt a big joke or what? they must have bellcurved me up tremendously! but yay for our batch and great thanks to ms wong :)

i was very willing to spend alot on food yesterday.. supposedly comfort food but no need for tt.. had swensens for lunch.. cafe cartel's dessert for dinner and was too full to eat anything at secret recipe after tt.. ooh when i feel rich ill go cafe cartel and eat the salad tt munyuk had yest complete with salmon! salmon... yummmm... i want sushi... yum...
and it was so awesome to see everyone again.. esp muns n gill after eons not meeting them.. i cant wait for our OC marathoN!! :D

man..!! i get so friggin turned off when stuff i like are liked by a million zillion pple!! haiz.. jon jonsson just doesnt feel special anymore with everyone liking him!! haha so over... my ljungberg forever ill be faithful to! just as long as he doesnt get red carded like the rest of the friggin arsenal lineup.. im so sad that i actually have to say they have stooped so low to hooligans! esp reyes.. get him out of england man.. he obviously hates it there.. he's a good player and all but the EPL is not a good league for him.. esp with idiots esp in manu who stoop even lower in attempt to kill his legs.. :p
hmm just wondering.. if i actually do bump into jj.. id prob be too scared.. ahem stoked n feel too foolish to go up to him.. like the whole world does tt.. why would i wanna be part of tt world who's like completely all over him, not to mention id be completely embarassed tt i actually watch such shows..! id be soo.. koman(common in hmm a certain slang)! it just turns me off! but id still kill to take a photo with him haha..

falala.. back to being unemployed.. but i picked up long stitch and im 1/3 through! so fun! its so satisfying to do a piece of artwork tt i will hopefully not mess up and then frame and hang in the house! hah and my mom said none of her daughters pick up sewing.. haha.. not like i do any other forms of sewing tho.. :)

i want to go overseass!!!! sya: wouldnt it be nice if we cud change our mauritius trip to yr melbourne trip!?

Notification of Release of 2004 A-Level Exam Results

1. The results of the 2004 Singapore-Cambridge GCE Advanced Level Examination will be released on Friday, 4 March 2005.

anybody wants to go for some pre results fun!? itll be the last time before i realise how pathetically ive done.. :( sigh

and today was the last day of relief teaching.. :( i cant believe how pooped i am.. today.. i had 1 annoying class and 1 really fun class.. they scream a tad too much but its the kind of class that i would love being in.. reminded me of the fun i had back then.. damn do i feel old.. then spent the rest of the time setting up for heats.. in the blazing hot sun.. its crazy hot.. i already have a watch tanline from tt.. oooh and i did my % fat test.. proud to say i lost 2kg! and am at the safe fat % zone.. hehe.. but it shud be worst now after i indulged in a snickers bar and BK for lunch.. and a bottle of coke.. hmm tt sounds so unhealthY! but i hope they call me again! need or rather.. want more money! hehehe..